Today marks the start of round 3 of chemo. Despite the fact it was the start of another round of chemo....it was an OK day. A long day....but an OK day. We went in at 9:00 and didn't leave until 3:30. Loooooooooong day. The oncology center was packed. Here's the scene: Everyone comes in has their vitals taken, blood drawn to see what your counts are, see the doctor to see if the treatment needs to be adjusted at all, and then eventually move to an infusion recliner chair. The infusion room is a large open room with very high ceilings with a natural wood finish. One wall is all windows facing out over a beautiful pond and garden. I always like to pick a seat near the window to day dream staring at the garden. Strangely, Roger does NOT like to be near the window. He said he hates watching the seasons change while going through chemo. I guess it makes sense when you think about it. So we usually compromise and pick a chair near the window for me but not immediately next to the window for Roger.
Even though you are doing something pretty freakin' horrible....chemo that is....it actually can be a humbling, even a heart-warming experience. One of the best ways of explaining is to share an experience today. Roger was hooked up to chemo. He had been given some Ativan which lets him sleep for the first half of the treatment ( I don't know WHY they don't give any to the spouse!!! I always ask) . The infusion room was loud with conversation. Nurses laughing and engaging patients and their family. As I sat there staring into space, smiling and even laughing to myself as I listened to the various conversations, I noticed the patient sitting across from us doing the same thing - listening, smiling and laughing. We both looked up and caught each other's eye mid-laugh. She said with a smile, "they are amazing people. This is an amazing place. Makes a horrible process almost seem good"...and she is absolutely right. We have NEVER been to the center without being greeted with HUGE hugs from all the nurses . Absurd as it sounds...it really is almost like going home.
Anyway, we are home and are on our way to hell. Tomorrow and Friday will be a slow decline. Roger is wearing a battery operated automatic pump now until Friday after lunch. The pump rhythmically releases small doses of chemo into Roger's system for 48 hours. Its a quiet, background hum. Ticks on. Ticks off. At the end of the cycle, Friday, we know we have two really horrible days ahead of us. So, we do what we can do. Hunker down and look forward to the good days which will EVENTUALLY come. With the onset of bad days comes the onset of a really really grouchy, short tempered Roger. One of the hard parts is remembering its the chemo....don't take it personally.
Roger has been eating non -stop since we have gotten home. He knows the nausea will settle in soon along with the exhaustion which translates into not eating and not drinking even with a bitchy nagging wife (which of COURSE he does NOT have, thank you very much).
His blood work is a little whacked. Nothing that drew any one's attention per se. Just strange. Usually his counts recover the week "off" chemo. We'll have to explore with his doctor.
Today, Dr. B told us he thought Roger was responding well to treatment. Dr. B. had been worried Roger wouldn't be able to tolerate any of the treatment. So, the doctor was pleased Roger was "tolerating". He further said, he thought Roger has been feeling so much better (post chemo hell) because the chemo is most likely kicking the cancer's butt. We'll know more after they run tests in a couple weeks. It will be a good news/bad news situation. The good news would be the chemo is reducing the tumors and actually erases the tumor. The bad news will be, "the chemo is working....you need to continue for at least another 4 months! possibly more" So, we're just going to try to take it one day at a time.
That's all for now. We're both pooped. Time for bed. Reboot, reset, start all over tomorrow.
~ Angie and Roger
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
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Following your ups and downs with interest and concern... enjoying the ups and dreading the downs right along with you. Thanks for posting. We are with you every step of the way and sending all our love and some more of those precious positive "vibes" :)
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