Its getting quiet

Despite our best efforts at predicting when Roger would hit his downward descent...we were wrong again.  We expected the bad days to really start late Friday afternoon and then hit a fast acceleration downward on Saturday/Sunday.  And, again...we were wrong.  Roger started to feel bad yesterday and has steadily declined.  Its getting more and more quiet in the house.  As I sit here and type, he is sitting across from me on the sofa, leaning forward over his knees and falling asleep as he curls into a sitting mummy.  The various drugs and medications don't seem to help.  He took an ativan late afternoon in an attempt to give him a little relief...make him less achy, less edgy, less overall uncomfortable, and maybe sleep a little.  It didn't work.

So now, I sit here debating:  Do I wake him up to nudge him to go upstairs to bed and risk him realizing he's uncomfortable?  Or do I sit here across from him and keep an eye on him as he dozes off to make sure he doesn't fold up into a ball rolling forward off the sofa and land on the floor?  I figure I'll finish this post and then nudge him upstairs to bed as I collect his pillows from the sofa and the various drugs he needs to take for the night.

We will be going to the oncology center tomorrow to have the chemo pump removed and get more anti-nausea, anti-diarrhea meds and more fluids.  We have signed up to have a home nurse come to the house Saturday morning to get us set up to do fluids at home over the weekend.  Roger has always said, and I have come to agree...the best place to get sick is the hospital...so if we can do his fluids over the weekend at home...why not?  I learned how to give him IV anti-biotics and liquid food through his feeding tube two years ago.  Giving him fluids now?  PIECE of cake!!   

His challenges today:  numbness of hands and fingers, more immediate and intense sensitivity to cold (feels like its burning...like grabbing dry ice), nausea, cramping, flu-y feeling, and of all things....hiccups!!  So, believe it or we have a drug to help stop hiccups.  Poor Roger will wake up in the middle of the night hiccuping and it will be non-stop until the meds settle in.  The reason everything has happened so quickly and so much more intensely is because chemo is cumulative in nature.  Even when you feel better there is bits of it in your system which combines with the new dosage.  So, sadly...it probably means each future treatment will be more and more intense.  We're hoping the doctor will give additional time between each chemo infusion which will allow Roger to recover more. 

The schedule for the near future:  Roger will have a CT scan within the next week or two to see if the chemo has done its job.  If it has, then Roger will have another four months of treatment (ugh!!!) .  We're told by his doctor, that chemo may become a permanent part of Roger's life if it appears to be working. 

We'll my hubby is curling into a ball as he falls a sleep leaning forward.  I'm afraid he's going to roll off the sofa and land on his head or land on our fat-cat Earl.  So, I think its time for me to nudge him to go to bed.

g'nite. ~ a