Cancer, chemo and really bad, inapprorpriate humor

I had such a strange observation this morning, and I'm warning you its a wildly inappropriate discussion topic among polite circles....

As I've mentioned before, we monitor and diary everything in an attempt to predict the future and also to keep the doctors and nurses informed of whats going on. An on-going concern is keeping Roger hydrated and fed. So, intestinal issues (aka diarrhea) is NOT a good thing...it defeats the goal of staying hydrated. Knowing this as a backdrop, you'll understand how the following question can become a regular, daily question "have you had a bowel movement and if so how was it?"       UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!       I mean really UGHHHHH!!!!!!! Cancer has turned us into to old people!!! Don't old people talk about bowel movements?!?!?! (see, inappropriate discussion topic?)   We never talked about this stuff before...I mean NEVER!!!!    Hell, Roger has always left the room to even pass gas as long as I've known him (over 20 years)...sorry, more in appropriate discussion....but hey, you were warned!   When Roger turned 50 he announced we were turning into junior old people. Now this confirms it!!

Ok, enough of the rather crude observation.  We are sitting here at the Oncology center.  Roger is sitting in a recliner snoozing away as the chemo drop by drop flows into his veins.  And in a moment of silent resolution we hunker down for the slow decline.  The Oncology center is buzzing.  Lots of patients.  Amidst the buzz of the the nurses talking to the various patients and getting them hooked up to their treatments, you hear the background hum of various patients snoring away.  No bias intended here...but most of the snoring patients appear to be men.  Just a mere observation.  Nothing more. 

As I've mentioned a million times before, this cancer-crap gives you perspective.  That's one of the few gifts it gives (cancer giving gifts????  no, I'm not drunk).  It gives perspective and maybe increased patience at some level.  An example.  I freaking HATE traffic.  Hate it hate it hate it.  Likewise, I'm less than enthused with drivers who diddle along with no sense of purpose or direction.  If I'm in my car....I've got somewhere to be...I'm either headed to work, or headed home from work, or headed to the oncology center with Roger, or....you get the gist.  So, having said that...now, I just ask myself....is it really worth getting so worked up in the whole scheme of things?  Um, no.  Same thing applies to work.  Is it really worth getting worked up about the various issues and challenges which present themselves....Um no, not in the whole scheme of things.  Dont' get me wrong....this little chant or mantra does NOT always work.  Just something to help keep the appropriate focus. 

Roger managed to go into the glass studio to blow glass yesterday.  He's trying to get some sort of routine back, get the rhythm back.  I know he's got a long list of things to make for many of you out there.  He said he managed to get a couple pieces made but definitely knows when he has not been in the studio for a long time.  He loses he timing.  I love the fact that he really wants to get back at it.  His newest non-glass project is making a coffee table.  We went to the fair a week ago and while there, walked through the area where they do wood milling.  He was able to secure a beautiful piece of red oak that had been sliced off a tree trunk.  I'm not sure of the overall vision but know that Roger will undoubtedly make something gorgeous.  I'll try to take some pictures over the next couple days.  He also  has his sight on creating a water feature for part of the yard.  He dragged me to a local stone center to look at gigantic rocks.  He wants to get a big one and drill a hole through the center and run a pump through it.  NATURALLY Roger would not be happy just going to the local hardware store to buy a fountain...nooooooo, we have a buy a big honkin' boulder that will have to be delivered and FORK LIFTED off the truck and then he will have to work the rock to make the fountain....never a simple project. 

I think Roger will be officially "retiring" from the karting center this month.  Its a strange thing.  Normally, you'd think retirement is a happy thing in this case its an occasion for mixed emotion.  Cancer is the motivator for retiring...not that we elected to retire to enjoy life outside of work.   He will be "of counsel" and available to help on projects etc. but will not be going into the karting center on a regular basis.  Again, its a strange thing.  I wanted to have a dinner/party to celebrate the accomplishment Roger had in creating the karting center and growing it into such a successful business.  He will have NO part of it.  So, we've agreed to disagree and I'll just have to channel my cheerleader enthusiasm into something else. I just believe we should always celebrate the good whenever and wherever you can and the good in this case is this successful business.

Anyway, blah blah blah.  Enough for now.  I'll post more tomorrow or the next day.  ~ angie