Monday, April 30, 2012

Ground hog day or is that deja vu all over again

The days run together frequently when you are chugging along in a stream of not-so-hot days.  Roger decided he was going to make a concerted effort to lay low today and just try to take it easy.  He totally over did it yesterday.  Actually we both did as did my parents.  They came to the boat and the four of us worked liked crazed people to get the boat de-winterized and make it "showable" which means we unstacked all the furniture and staged it.  We cleaned all bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen and living area.  All the beds were made.   We removed all the plastic covering from the carpet and then set about using carpet cleaner to remove all the grease spots from where the mechanic managed to step....where there was a tiny spot of carpet without plastic.  HOW did he managed to find those little bits of carpet????  Roger often had to sit down and close his eyes and just chill. Fortunately Mom, Dad and I were a force to be reckoned with and managed to keep buzzing around the boat getting everything done.  I'm happy to report it looked gorgeous.  I talked to Mom this morning to say thanks again and she captured the "worth it moment" when she said it was pretty cool watching the transformation from dirty winterized boat to show-able boat.  Made all the hard work, scraped knuckles, broken nails, and achy backs all worth it.  And speaking of "Worthit".  We are trying to come up with a new name for the boat.  My girlfriend Lorna suggested "Worthit".  Since its totally worth it for us and brings us great peace.  Pretty cool name.  Roger is mulling it over. 

As mentioned in the above paragraph, Roger doesn't feel so hot.  When I walked in the house this evening after work, I found him bundled up in his chair with a blanket over him.  He just can't get/stay warm.  We are quite the couple....at any given moment I'm about to literally melt into a pool of ooze or instantaneously burst into flames and Roger is frozen to the touch.  Last night when we went to bed, Roger was tucked under the bedspread quilt with an additional blanket on top, I scooted up behind him trying to press as much of me onto his cold skin meanwhile having to hang (your gonna love this glamorous image ....NOT) my big ol' butt and back out of the covers to try to cool down.  The front half of me was melting and sweating while Roger snoozed away happily toasty and snug as a bug in a rug.  The back half of me was cold to the touch.  See?  Nice image, huh?

He took a bath again tonight to try to alleviate some of the discomfort.  Said that it worked as long as he was in the tub. Somehow the water is an equalizer or something like that.  We are upping his pain patch to see if it will help.  His pain doctor had talked about upping it to 150 mg before now.  We resisted and wanted to try 125 first.  Roger doesn't want to be a zombie and wants to be active.  So we thought he'd ease into the increase by starting with 125.  Since he hasn't had any relief for a while, we are trying 150 since his pain doctor was going to do that the last time we were with him.  I'll report back tomorrow or the next day.  It takes about 6 hours for the stuff to really kick in.

Work has been crazy busy.  Good ol' Murphys Law.  I want to be busy and have lots of business (makes it easier to pay bills)...just wonder why it has to be an avalanche?  Why not a nice slow steady snowfall of activity coming down in a nice controlled fashion.  ohhhhhh, no.  Not the case.  Can't complain though because the alternative of little or no business is not a good thing. 

We checked the calendar to figure out what the dates are for next scan and doctors appointments.  We both thought the next MRI would be next week.  NOPE, not the case.  Its THIS Friday which startled the hell out of both of us.  Obviously we *knew* it was coming...just thought we would have one more week to "get ready".  As we were talking about it this evening, Roger said "its really thrown me for a loop.  I was expecting next week.  But really, what's the difference?  They will say the radiation worked and reduced the size of the brain tumors, or they will say the radiation worked and completely obliterated the tumors, or they will say the radiation didn't do much and the tumors are still there.  Regardless, we know - to some extent - what we are faced with."    With tears in both of our eyes, we both uttered a low sigh and agreed, "yep, that's pretty much it."  I'm sure we will continue to become more anxious as the week evaporates. 

Next week will be meetings with the radiation oncologist as well as Roger's original oncologist.  We'll see what is what then.  And between the scan this Friday and the doctors' appointments next week, we will have a very long weekend. 

Gotta go.  I've got work-work to do yet this evening.  More soon. love, angie

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