We have often been the beneficiary of random acts of kindness from strangers. Lately, more so than ever. Today we witnessed two such events which left us in tears and rendered us speechless and a third happened earlier in the week.
The first act of kindness occurred over the noon hour. Roger had a follow up appointment with Dr Youkilis, the Ear Nose Throat doctor who did the procedure 2 weeks ago. The doctor was following up to hear the strength of Roger's voice, his ability to swallow, etc. Unfortunately, we were all disappointed with the results. While still better than before the procedure, the results are weaker than what Roger had the first couple days following the procedure. The doctor offered up he could do the procedure again to add more substance to Roger's paralyzed vocal cord. The risk is going under more anesthesia and the other risk is over filling the vocal cord and closing off Roger's windpipe. He said he still didn't believe either to be an issue. We then got into quality of life and time lines which ended with Roger in tears, me in tears and remarkably enough the doctor in tears. He closed the personal space and move next to Roger and put his arm around him. While wiping away tears he said he is headed to Israel on a family trip and is going to the Wailing Wall. He had planned on offering a prayer for us and wanted us to know. He then gently held the back of Roger's head as the tears fell. Really a remarkable, very human moment dressed in human kindness.
Late this afternoon/early evening, I took Roger to an appointment with a masssage therapist. When I made the appointment, I shared with the therapist Roger's frail condition and his piercing pain from the issues with his back. I explained he had limitations on his ability to lay flat and that he may need to sit in a massage chair. Beth, the therapist, listened as we both explained his various physiological challenges. She quietly ushered him off to a room. After the session, we headed up to the reception desk to pay. The receptionist looked at us and said, "your services have been taken care of." I immediately welled up with tears. Roger looked befuddled (he's a massage virgin). So he pressed and said, "no, we haven't paid yet. We need to pay". The receptionist repeated herself "the services have been taken care of." . The tears meanwhile had pooled up for me and were silently trickling down my face. I said to him "honey, its been taken care of" and the receptionist added, "your services are complimentary". As we walked out to the car, Roger was shaking his head as it dawned on him that this woman gave him the gift of her services. We both climbed into the car with emotions openly flowing and the tears trickling down our faces. As we were driving home, I was trying to stay focused on the road and not be overwhelmed by the day when Roger shared the following while staring out the window, "Was it too much for me to strip naked for the massage?" (it was a massage on his back ONLY)....I burst out laughing and said no, of course not. He responded, " no wonder she wouldn't talk to me or look at me...no naked, huh?" The massage helped temporarily. Within 15 minutes of leaving the spa, the pain was creeping back.
The third moment of kindness came early this week. My mom, dad, and I gave Roger and my brother, Alan, gift certificates for Christmas to take a ride in a 2-seater Indy car around the Indpls Motor Speedway. We had the drive previously scheduled earlier in May but Roger wasn't physically up for doing the ride. So, after rescheduling we finally went. We checked wiht Roger's doctors to make sure they thought it would be ok. The general sensus was yes, should be no problem. Additionally, if, god forbid something happened, they added "what better way to go then speeding around the track - especially for you Roger". We both agreed with the sentiment even if a little "off"". We screwed up our courage and made our way to the track. All of us - Roger, me, my parents (who came) my brother, and our friends Paul and Bill (who also came) - all of us were nervous about the ride. It was only 3 laps but the speed could get up to 140-150 miles per hour and have extreme G-force impact. I'm including a couple photos of Roger and my brother Alan. They both suited up and got in line. the closer Roger got to the front of the line, the more anxious/nervous I got. As he climbed into the car, I found my hands shaking and again, those stupid tears flowing down my face. Had Roger been well, he would have been consumed with excitement. Frail Roger was very nervous. Roger's car was the first to go out followed by my brother's car. When they pulled back into the pits, (I was taking tons of pictures), the ride coordinator must have been able to tell Roger is very sick, maybe he saw my emotion...anyway, he invited me over the pit wall to take a photo of Alan and Roger trackside with the car behind them and the timing tower in the far distance. (third act of kindness) The coordinator got the long-eye from one of the safety guys for letting me "over the wall" (I was wearing shorts and flip flops....big no no on pit lane). Happy ending: Roger said he had a blast and had a genuine smile on his face...first I've seen in a long long time. The price paid was later when Roger's bones and muscles screamed from being tossed around inside the car. 
Tomorrow marks an appointment with Roger's pain doctor, Dr. Ratzman. I have a
feeling we will be stepping up the pain meds considerably. We've already done a little of that ourselves. NOTHING seems to help. He hasn't gotten a moment of relief in over a week. I know he's at his wits end with the continued pain. Hopefully the good doctor will be able to up the meds or prescribe something new. Morphine is NOT an option for Roger. It makes him C*R*A*Z*Y. But we gotta find a way to get the pain under control! He is miserable and it only adds to his exhaustion. The ENT doctor asked if the pain could be related to cancer spreading to Roger's bones. WHAT??? I hadn't even thought of that. You've got to be kidding. It can't possibly have spread again. No no no no no. I hate cancer. Completely hate it.
Would that we all could share random acts of kindness with a stranger. If the moment strikes you, pass it forward when you have an opportunity. xxooxx, a & r
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