I am normally such a chatty person.  Never usually at much of a loss for words.  The past several days have simply left me without words.  That's not to say I am or was speechless, just missing the words to blog.  I guess the weight of reality has been riding heavy on our shoulders. 

Roger has been riding the roller coaster we know as his health or well being.  There have been a few days when he felt like his swallowing was improved from the procedure last Tuesday.  Today and yesterday he has been complaining that swallowing is getting difficult again.  His voice is still stronger than it was prior to the procedure.  However, if you are not facing Roger when he is talking, i.e. he is walking away, you won't be able to hear him.  Several times today I've had to say "hey, if you're talking to me, please turn this direction or don't walk away".  The ear nose throat doctor said it would be two weeks before we knew the true results of the procedure.  So neither of us are jumping to conclusions for another week.  We meet with the ENT doctor on the 28th.  So, time will tell. Quality of life.  Quality of life.

Today, we met with Roger's oncologist Dr. Birhirray.  It was his "regular" 6 week appointment.  More of a touching base.  We reported Roger has been experiencing more headaches over the last couple weeks.  The doctor said he would schedule another MRI before the next appointment 6 weeks from now.  We also reported Roger thinks he may have broken a bone in his foot.  A week or so ago he had a misstep walking down a step outside.  Immediately he had pain.  So, I think he will have another doctor's appt with an orthopedic doctor.  Hoping to get a boot to stabilize his foot.  Poor guy.  First the cancer, then his gallbladder, then his voice/paralyzed vocal cord, and now his lame wing.   All and all I have to say he has keep his spirits relatively even keel.  Don't get me wrong, he isn't singing ZippideeDooDa but he also isn't holed up under the bed rolled up in a ball. 

Home health care nurse came today.  She accessed Roger's port for us.  We will leave him accessed all week and I will infuse him with hydration every other day for three treatments and then I will pull the needle.  The plan is to have the nurse come once a week to access his port and then we infuse fluids at home. 

Roger has been snoozing most of the afternoon.  We find we both get twisty with nerves and anxiousness prior to these various doctors' appointments.  You see we no sooner get done with one doctor's appointment and then relax when another doctor's appointment is just around the corner or worse yet another big test like an MRI.  We know the drill and also know our short tempers or lack of conversation are merely a manifestation of those nerves. 

Fathers day was good.  My parents came over early evening.  Roger decided hotdogs (really???  hotdogs??) sounded good.  So, we "treated" my dad to a deluxe dinner of hotdogs roasted over our fire pit.  Yep....it was 92 degrees outside and Roger decided it would be good to roast the dogs over the fire.  My dad was so thrilled Roger thought something sounded good to eat that Dad thought it sounded good...HOTDOGS????  So we had grilled hotdogs, Italian sausage, chili sauce and cheese for the dogs.  Deeeeeelux.  We're gonna win an award for best father's day ever.  :-)  Actually I think we all had a perfectly delightful father's day even if we were eating miscellaneous pig and cow parts. 

While on the food theme, Roger's appetite as of late (not really an appetite but what he is willing to try to eat)....Steak n Shake breakfast sandwiches, Dairy Queen hotdogs, Dairy Queen icecream, Applebee's Riblets, my neighbor across the street's chicken noodles, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  If you can't tell...there is NO predicting what will sound good one day to the next.  I always have to laugh when someone asks," what food can I bring over for Roger?"  I really can never answer the question because it varies by the day by the hour. 

Roger expressed interest in going down to my parents' river house going forward.  I didn't know whether or not he would be interested in going in light of the boat being sold but I think he finds it peaceful and a change of pace.  So, we are planning on going down as much as we possibly can. 

Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say hi and give you an update.  I've been busy trying to put away or identify items to donate which we have pulled off the boat.  All of the linens and clothing need to be washed because they were stored on a diesel boat which leaves a strong scent of diesel.  Not particularly attractive.  Literally, I've been doing laundry for DAYS.  And, as I've mentioned before....I ain't no domestic goddess....so this is sheer TORTURE. 

Take care of yourselves.  xxooxx, a & r