*Sigh*

I know you've heard me say this before, and at the risk of being redundant...we're on a roller coaster.  Up down, upside down, inside out (do roller coasters go inside out? or just your stomach contents?).  Cancer and its "treatment" is a freakin' ride on a nasty roller coaster.  Just when you think you are on the fun part of the ride, the car jumps the tracks and you crash into the wall.  Ok, ok, that may be a little more dramatic than necessary.  I'll simplify.  Thought Roger would have a good day today (yesterday and the day before were decent)....today?  Nope, not a good day.  He said he had pain again and was exhausted and just didn't have any gas in the tank.  HUGE bummer.  We both forget...forgot...just because you have a couple decent days does not mean you are absolutely on the path to endless good days.  Gosh, what a horrible thought to say out loud!!!  Right?  Everyone should always expect to have endless good days with miscellaneous annoyances sprinkled in.  In our case, we almost need to plan for endless "not-so-hot" days and be surprised by the random good days.  And thus the title of today's post....*sigh*.  Somehow, it just doesn't seem right. 

I look at Roger with complete amazement (and frustration sometimes depending on if he's being a bit of a pain in the tush).  He has endured endless pain, discomfort, and life-altering circumstances and every day he keeps stepping up to the plate to take another swing.  We've had friends often say, "I don't know how you do it".  The fact of the matter is that inside all of us is an inner reserve and an extra dose of tenacity which will carry you through the toughest of situations.  And sometimes, that reserve gets a little low.  That's when you crawl under the bed or maybe just under the covers and give yourself a day to recover, replenish, or simply unplug. 

Hopefully Roger will feel better tomorrow.  He has plans to go down to the boat to do a couple last winterizing projects.  If not tomorrow, then maybe Friday.  Temps here in Indy are supposed to be mid to upper 40's which means 5-10 degrees warmer down at the boat. 

A movie is on the agenda one of these evenings or maybe over the weekend.  Sherlock Holmes?  Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?  TinTin?  Makes me laugh to think of the movies we are considering compared to one another.  What a strange mixture of entertainment interests!  Oh, well.  Probably pretty fitting for the strange couple we are.

I'm hoping to drag Roger out to do a little shopping.  Need to get him some clothes which fit.  I may have to just rummage in my 16 year old nephew's closet for Roger.  I think they may be wearing the same size.  I am officially swearing off shopping without Roger because he is such a pill with my clothing choices.  Most recently he has started declaring all of the sweaters and clothing I bring home are very effeminate and .  He said my choices remind him of a couple of the male characters (preferring alternate lifestyles) on the TV program Glee.  Ugh.  WHATEVER.  I think he would look super cute in the sweaters and cardigans and cute boot shoes I bought for him.  Is it a crime to want my 52 year old husband to look cute?  Who cares where I get my fashion inspiration?  As if its a bad thing to emulate celebrity fashion!  Fine.  I may just let him look like he's 6 years old wearing his dad's clothing.  Whatever.

Good night.  Here's to a good Thursday.  Bring it on!!  luv, a&r