We have had several very quiet days. Roger just hasn't felt well. And its so freakin' frustrating and discouraging for him (and me). Over the last 48 hours Roger has said repeatedly, "I am so tired of feeling badly. I have so many things I want to get done and I just can't do it right now. When am I going to feel better?". And with a helpless look, I can only remind him "It takes time for your good cells to recover from all the chemo. Dr Birhirray said it could take a couple months for the wake of the chemo to clear. I know its not much comfort because it seems like a million years away but the good days WILL come." Usually I receive "the look" in response along with a grunt or no comment whatsoever.
Roger met with his pain management doctor today. The doctor has ordered more tests. And a new prescription for a different version of ambien to help with sleep. None of this medical-stuff is black and white which is pretty frustrating for a black and white person like me. Hopefully the scans will shed some light and the ambien will help Roger sleep. A full solid night's sleep has been virtually unheard of for the last 8 months....hell, for the last 2 years. So standard protocol for Roger is to grab cat naps (with a cat usually)
whenever he can to help with the exhaustion.
The cold temps are chilling him to the bones. He constantly has his hands under the kitchen faucet running hot water to warm his hands, or is sitting under multiple blankets, electric blankets (yes we have several), heating pads (yes, we have several), or he takes hot baths. I've told him to carry a cat around with him. The little beasts are four-legged walking furnaces. Heaven knows Earl the Fat cat has enough insulation for Roger and himself.
Well, the clock keeps ticking as the new day fast approaches. I hope to report Roger is feeling better tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed. G'nite.
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