Progress is measure in tiny steps

I've been thinking on and off throughout the day about what I would post tonight. I often feel like we're saying the same thing over and over. And to some degree, that is what life has become, a lot of the same over and over (kinda like the movie Groundhog Day). Its not entirely fair to say that each day is exactly the same, because it isn't.

The tiny step today: Roger feels a LITTLE better than yesterday. The sore on his tongue is a little less inflamed, the pain in his chest and throat has been dulled slightly, he ate an egg early in the day, half a milkshake midday, and then half a cup of soup for dinner. Of course this isn't anywhere near the amount of nutrients or calories he needs but we are happy to have him eat ANYTHING. Every meal suggestion is greeted with the soon-to-be famous Roger scowl...and every grumpy Roger look is greeted with the soon-to-be famous Angie"don't EVEN say" it scowl back. We're quite the pair with our "looks" at each other. Fortunately I know he doesn't mean anything towards me personally (I know and remember how he used to love my cooking pre-cancer) and he knows that I am making the food/drink suggestions because I love him and want to get him well. I went to the grocer tonight to pick up a couple things...an hour later I return to the house with a couple bags. Roger looked at me quizzically...thinking I was only running out for a couple things. I had to explain that I walked the aisles at the grocery looking for something he might like and might be able to eat.

Roger has been a champ throughout this. I hope that I would have the same courage, strength, tenacity, and grace to get through the treatment like Roger has. Sadly, I don't know that I could endure half as well as him.

Roger had hopes that he would have had enough energy to rake some leaves this afternoon/evening. Unfortunately, the energy still hasn't returned. So, once I got home, I raked and bagged, 10 bags of leaves. It was a beautiful evening for it. Leaves were good and dry...not to mention down-right beautiful with all the different colors. And, the leaves smelled absolutely wonderful - a little musty, a little earthy. The downside of the leaf raking was the damn Ginko tree. If you are not familiar with this tree, let me tell you it has these horrible "fruits" or seed-things that drop in the fall. They are the size of a large marble and splat with a pop when you walk on them and ooze stuff. The smell is...STINKY....foul...horrible, etc. We are going to see if there is a way to "sterilize" the tree to stop the stupid little fruits from falling. You gotta rake these things up on a regular basis or it becomes a HUGE foul mess after a rain. I tortured myself by looking up into the tree to see how many of the little buggers hadn't fallen. I estimate about 40 b'zillion of the damn things clinging to the tree tops filling themselves with the vile Ginko-stinko juice. its not a good thing to see as you realize you are only half way through your raking/bagging for the day. Um, as you can tell, we're not huge Ginko fans.

Roger continues to go in daily for fluids and anti-nausea drugs. We'll get "orders" for the weekend just in case he is feeling puny. If Roger feels up to it, we may go down to the boat to see if the leaves have popped in Louisville. Otherwise, we'll hang here in Indy. We have pumpkins to carve! I hope to get the camera out. Roger is down about 10 pounds and has lots his beard and obviously his hair. The sparkle in his eyes is a little dimmer.

So that's where we are for now. Roger should be feeling a little better tomorrow and Friday and may be up for talking or texting. Feel free to drop him a line to let him know you're thinking of him and cheering him on. As always, thank you thank you. Love, A