The hospital is not a quiet place

I thought about this last night as I was driving home from seeing Roger and checking in with the night nurse, the hospital is NOT a quiet place. There is at minimum a constant hum of the HVAC units pumping really dry air throughout the hospital, then layer on the sounds of the machines and monitors in the patient's room, then layer on top of that the constant buzz of nurses and doctors in and around the area, and finally layer on the very top the sounds of patients' family members. This past week, Roger used ear plugs to try to drown out all the noise.



We have a fabulous nurse on the day shift today, Holly. She was the first nurse we worked with immediately after the surgery a week ago...its deja vu. She is attentive, proactive, personable, detailed, and warm. She stops and talks to me to make sure that I understand what is going on. She proactively realized that Roger's pain meds still weren't keeping him pain free, and she went to the doctors on her own to see what could be done. She has been putting cold wash cloths on his forehead to give him some comfort from the fever. As of this writing, his fever is down to 99. It danced around between 100-101 all night. I know those seem like little things or maybe even things that a nurse should do as part of the job....I can tell you that is NOT the case with every nurse. So, I try to fill the gap with the small details that might be missed and I try to work with the good nurses to see if they can get the next "good" nurse on the next shift to care for Roger.



A pulmonary doctor and ICU doctor checked in on Roger this morning. They indicated that he would stay on the ventilator through the day and over night. Tomorrow we'll see where he is as far as the fluids in his chest and the after affect of the stomach acid in his chest cavity.



They did a CT scan this morning to check the fluid in Roger's chest and to look at the surrounding area. I anticipate that I'll hear from Dr. Aschiotti (Dr. Freeman's partner) today as well as our oncologist, Dr. Birhiray (who was here around 8 this morning) regarding the test results. Until then, we'll have to wait and see.



As I waited for the nurse to call me to let me know that they had brought Roger back to the room after the CT Scan, I had time to look around the waiting room. I decided to wait there since you can't use cell phones in the ICU area. There was every walk of life - all ripe with emotion. Raw emotion. The room had a strange mixture of nervous laughter and joking, silent tears and soft sobbing, analytical discussions, and quiet blank stares. It almost felt like a large emotional whirlpool that could easily suck you in and sweep you away. I had an odd realization as I was sitting there... I was purposely avoiding eye contact and avoiding the opportunity for conversation. It was so strange! This is completely the opposite of how I was when we were at the oncology center - Roger and I both talked to EVERYONE and learned as many stories about people as we could. In the past, I would want to ease the pain of others or at least try to engage them in conversation that might distract them from the pain. Today, I just couldn't do that.



I'll post again tonight after I know where we are.