chemo fog

There appears to be a fog that has set in...or so its called. Literally the term is "chemo fog" which is what chemo does to the brain. Apparently chemo causes patients to be forgetful and a be little spacey. Its has been a slow progression, but seems to have fully set in. Roger has a hard time remembering stuff and seems much more forgetful. Its been odd and disturbing and a little frustrating (you have to repeat yourself a lot) watching this side effect set in.

The other side effect that Roger is experiencing... we call the "er" effect...his hair is starting to fall out. He may soon be bald....er. Ok, those are HIS words not mine. I never NEVER say anything about the hair. Only Roger or my brother, Alan (who is also follically challenged), can make jokes about the status of one's hair. I may have to chase Roger-fur-balls as well as the feline ones.

We're half way through Week 4 and its still a rough week. Roger hasn't really felt any better since the end of last week. He just says he feels crappy. He looks pale and his face seems a little swollen. He doesn't have fever (a good thing). He has been and will through the end of the week go in for daily radiation and for IV fluids. Hopefully by week's end he will feel as well as he did last week. Sadly, he will more than likely start feeling better on Saturday or Sunday only to start the second round of chemo on Monday. It hardly seems fair. I guess life isn't about being fair, is it?

The ringing in Roger's ears has faded substantially. The pressure in his chest and tightness in his esophagus seems to be increasing. He is still able to eat soft foods and drink but it is getting a little tougher. We have a feeling that next week may be full of soups, ice cream, smoothies, etc. He's tough. We know he'll persevere. He just may never drink another milk shake or eat ice cream ever again. :-)

Me? I'm wading through cookbooks still trying to find interesting recipes that are good tasting, full of protein, easy for Roger to eat...and easy for me to cook when I get home from work. I'm also wrestling with medical bills and insurance statements. I am truly convinced that you have to have a PHd to navigate this part of the process. I end up having to take loads of tylenol and STILL never feel like "yah, I got that figured out...I know exactly who I need to pay what for what service" Seriously, its got to be more complicated than brain surgery.

It kind a feels like we're a little in limbo or maybe the twilight zone. You can't really make any immediate plans because you don't really know what each day has in store for you. Time seems to be in a strange warp - sometimes moving at the speed of light and sometimes frozen in space. Its hard to believe that we (ROGER) have been working through this for over 8 weeks total...treatment for 4 weeks now. It literally feels like yesterday when our hearts froze with the news that Roger had cancer.

Tomorrow's Thursday. We may have to go for pumpkins this weekend. Its Fall and the start of October afterall which means PUMPKINS!! We've started thinking about our Halloween costume for this year...just in case Roger feels up to celebrating the holiday.

I'll try to upload pictures of some drinking glasses Roger made when glass blowing. They are very cool glasses.

Much love and peace to all.