Day 2 of treatment completed...on to Day 3

We were in the hospital for a fraction of the time yesterday compared to Tuesday. All in, we were there for 3.5 hours. Not bad. The woman (nurse) in the picture with Roger is Mariska. She has been with us everyday and even came in yesterday, on her day off, to work with Roger. Really, an amazing woman. Actually all of the staff at the oncology center have been wonderful. All sweet, cheerful, tender, smiling, with open arms for hugs to anyone who might need it. They manage to get patients laughing when all the patient wants to do is crawl into bed and pull their covers over their heads.

It has been amazing to watch the medicine (poison) at work. As we all know, Roger is a big burly, vital, fun-loving guy. I've watched him over the course of 24 hours kinda "vanish" for lack of a better word. He sleeps constantly - which is good. When he's awake, he's not chirpy. He stares at the TV without really seeing anything. He said he is feeling more and more puny, achy, tired, and generally crappy. So far he has been able to ward off nausea and vomiting. Today will be the day it would probably kick in if its going to kick in (keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't). Its hard watching him go through this...and selfishly, I miss him. I like my big, goofy, chirpy, twisted-sense of humor hubby. I know he'll be back. once he feels better. Just kinda miss him.

We go back in today for meeting with a dietitian at 10, radiation at 10:30, and more anti-nausea/vomiting drugs and fluids at 11:00. We are still hoping that this "extra" dose of anti-nausea drugs with fluids is helping Roger keep from feeling really really horrible. Obviously, its still very early in the process. These drugs will keep working on Roger's cells (bad cancer cells AND good blood cells) for many weeks to come. Because the drugs kill so many cells, Roger's system will be very vulnerable to infection, anemia, bleed out (blood won't clot as well as when the cells are healthy). We've taken to carrying hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE we go. We aren't eating out in public so much any more....just generally trying to be careful. The weirdest symptom Roger has had is chronic hiccups. Apparently one of the chemo drugs is known to cause this for certain people. So the poor guy spent a better part of the day hiccuping when he wasn't sleeping. The only two things - aside from some psychotic drug - that seem to help are drinking Boost or eating some chocolate (thanks Mom & Dad for the basket of chocolate goodies).

This week has additionally been a tough one in that one of my aunts passed away from cancer. A huge emotional blow at two levels - the loss of my aunt, and then the loss of another person because of cancer. The visitation was yesterday and funeral is today. While I wasn't close with this aunt, I am close with her daughters. I originally had planned to go north (they are in South Bend) for either the visitation or the funeral but found that I just couldn't tear myself away from Roger. I had a huge group of volunteers ready to come and sit with him so that I could pay our respects. As, I watched Roger fade from vibrant to puny...I just couldn't imagine leaving him, even for just a couple hours during this first part of the treatment. I know it sounds silly. This is all still a little too fresh for me to be rational.

That's all for now. I am going to go pack for the morning at the hospital - juices, Boost, fruit, peanut butter/banana/honey sandwich (Roger loves them). More later.