o tannenbaum, o tannenbaum

We ventured out Sunday afternoon, bundled up as though we were headed to the north or south pole.  And found a tree.  A beautiful little tree.  Naturally the event was not without adventure. 

We went to the School for the Blind where I THOUGHT I had seen a sign saying they were selling trees. If we're going to buy a tree, lets do "good" and benefit others if possible.  Um, no.  They weren't selling trees (figures).  So, off to another location.  We found a gorgeous tree taller than Roger, gorgeous and full.  Love at first sight....though of course, I still had to drag Roger around the lot two more times in case we missed THE perfect tree.  Nope.  We didn't miss it.  Had it right the first time.  So, we circled back to our perfect tree with a lot attendant in tow.  As the worker was getting ready to pull the tree out of the stand, I asked if they accepted credit cards.  You see, I was already in sticker shock.  When we ventured to Bloomington in previous years to cut down a tree, we could cut down a tree as big as we wanted - any size 7', 10', 12' whatever you can find....a whopping $25!  These fancy schamancy precut trees.....are multiples of $25!  The lot attendant defiantly declared, "No.  We only accept cash and checks".  Soooo, Roger pulled out his wallet with much attitude (I left mine at home) and he counted out all the little green dollars hiding there.  The attendant used the calculator on his phone to calculate the total due...$67.42.   Roger had (no exaggeration) $67 in his wallet.  No more.  He declared the same to the attendant who told him, "there is nothing I can

do".  Roger asked for the person in charge....Response?  "No one in charge is working today"....um, yah.  Roger started to head for the parking lot.  I called after him saying that I was sure I had $0.42 in the car or we could pick out a different tree. Not a big deal to me.  NOPE.  NOT DOING IT.  Nanook of the North in his furry hat and wool clad body stomped to the car.  ON to the next tree lot.  Despite how cold he was, out of principle Roger wasn't going to buy a tree there.  We motored down the road and found a new perfect tree which was not only shorter (still taller than me) but $15 more expensive.  With a gratified look on his face and a beautiful tree strapped to the car we drove home.

Our pretty little tree is happily nestled in a corner in the living room.  We haven't had a chance to dress her yet.  No lights, no babbles....I'm thinking that will come tomorrow.  For the time being we'll let our gorgeous tree get comfy in its new home. 

Roger has been riding the roller coaster of feeling ok, feeling puny, feeling ok, feeling terrible.  Last night was a rough night.  He woke 4 times having to  vomit each time, 2:30 a.m., 3:30 a.m., 5:00 a.m., and 6:00 a.m..  After each

episode, Roger would sit straight up, cross-legged in bed and each time, he'd fall asleep sitting there once he got his system to calm down.  He'd slowly bend forward in his sleep and end up rolled into a ball with his head nearly touching his legs and the bed.  And each time, I'd wake him up, lightly rub his back and encourage him to lay back down or go downstairs to the sofa to recline in more of a sitting posture.  We think that his poor posture and his "rolling into a ball" are adding to the problems with his neck and the bulging disc which is causing pain and spasms down his back.  It seemed terrible cruel for me to wake him each time but I also know how badly it hurts him when he has the back pain.  Finally at 6:00 a.m. he gave up and went downstairs to the sofa. 

We think as a result of the rough night, he felt pretty puny today during the day. You just never know.  And you never know what will - if anything - will pull him out.  Sometimes shear tenacity can do it.  Sometimes a bath.  Sometimes more medicine.  We just don't know what the magic formula is....as it seems to keep changing.  Constantly.  Roger did muster up the energy to have dinner with our dear friends Susie and Rudy.  We had a great evening but Roger wore out pretty quickly. So, we kept the visit short but long enough to share stories and have loads of laughs. 

Finally before signing off I thought I'd share a story I shared with my friend Katie today.  Its the time of year that truly reminds me.  Two years ago...almost to the day...Roger had the surgery which took us... or rather took him down a very long painful path.  He had complications from the surgery and ended up on a ventilator for 6 days.  6 very long days.  It so happens this was over the Christmas holiday.  One evening during this

period, I think maybe Christmas Eve, I walked one of our family members to the front of the hospital after a brief bedside visit.  As I made the long trek back to the other side of the hospital where Roger was, I passed through empty hall after quiet, empty hall.  As I got closer to the intensive care wing of the hospital, I passed by a side entrance to this area of the building.  There in the entry way between the exterior door and the interior door were a small group of carolers, all wearing Santa hats.  I paused in the hall to eavesdrop as they finished the song they were practicing.  Once the song ended, they walked into the building.  Before

heading on their way in the direction from which I had just come, they stopped in front of little ol' me and sang a beautiful Christmas carol.  My own private concert.  It was a quiet, simple, perfect moment in an otherwise not perfect part of our life.  I smile now to think of the beauty of the moment.  I know this all sounds totally cheesy but it really was such a peaceful moment. 

Wishing you all many perfect, peaceful moments.  Have a good evening. hugs, a