A long Friday

The day started at the oncology center this morning at 8:45 am.  We reported as the orders instructed to the oncology center promptly to register for Roger's CT scan and MRI.  As our luck would have it, someone in the doctor's office somewhere screwed up.  We were NOT supposed to be at the oncology center.  We were supposed to be across the street at the hospital.  Our nurse buddies called around to confirm WHERE we were supposed to be all the while apologizing profusely for the confusion.  Roger noted ,as he has so many times over the last three years, the "failure" in the medical system is the human element.  Scheduling associates, and nurses, and doctors all have bad days, days they argue with their children or spouses, days where the car gets a flat, etc etc etc.  And that human element is what you, or your health care advocate needs to watch for or try to anticipate. 

We schlepped ourselves back out to the car and popped across the street for the start of our very long day.  Roger had to have an IV line inserted so that they could inject contrast dyes and other "stuff".  He had to drink three cups of some mystery stuff which helps the tests detect the cancer.  We started on the main floor of the hospital in the radiology department.  Were there from 9:00 - Noon for the CT test.  Then we made our way through the hospital hallway maze down to the basement where MRI is located.  We finally left the hospital around 1:30 - 2:00 and then had to go out and forage for food.  Poor skinny Roger hadn't eaten since the night before.  Happily, all the tests are done.  We meet with the oncologist on Monday for test results and then meet with the radiation oncologist on Wednesday. 

As you can imagine, we found ourselves very anxious and twisty yesterday, last night, and most of this morning.  As we were waiting in the MRI area, Roger was sitting in one of many horribly uncomfortable hard waiting room chairs with his eyes closed, head drooping.  I asked how he was doing and he said "I'm feeling really anxious, full of anxiety, and tense"  I responded, "do you want me to come over and sit on your lap and hold your hand?".....response, "um, NO".  Ok, so I then asked, "do you want to come over here and sit on my lap and hold hands?"....response, "um, NO.  But you can hold my hand from there".   Not nearly as much fun or cozy as what I was proposing but pretty nice nonetheless.  So we held hands until the technician came to get Roger. 

Roger has a new symptom...or maybe its just a thing...he noticed yesterday.  He was feeling dizzy most of the afternoon and all evening.  It didn't matter whether he was sitting or standing, he felt dizzy.  So, he spent most of the afternoon and evening yesterday sitting with his eyes closed.  Today, he did not feel dizzy.  We are both relieved.  The dizzy thing is a little concerning.  Hard to know if its blood sugar, pain medicine, or tumor related...or all the above.  We have a growing list of questions for the doctor.  Scary stuff.

Regarding the world's longest garage sale, the Wethingtons continue to divest themselves of more stuff.  Thanks to our dear friend Paul who has been the ebay and craigs list king.  The list of things to sell is slowly shrinking.  Mind you there's still a wholelottacrap to go, but its a start.  And with each item going, I can sense a bit more relief washing over Roger. 

Roger showed the boat on Tuesday.  The man and his wife who came to look at it apparently seemed to really like it.  They were going to go look at another boat in Tennessee over the weekend.  We'll see if we hear back from them and if so, how interested they are.  In the meantime, the plan will be to try to enjoy the boat as much as we possibly can.  Ironically, having said that, we will not be going south this weekend.  Roger said he is pooped with the drive and wants to stay home for the weekend.  I'm hoping he will take it easy.  He as been making more of a concerted effort to TRY to not over do it.  Not always successful but at least he's thinking about it. 

We think we may have a buyer for one of our rental properties.  OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!  May have to sell on contract which doesn't thrill us, but its someone.  We'll know more in the next couple days.  That will leave us with one more rental property and we think we have a buyer identified for it.  Keep your fingers crossed.  Are we making as much as a normal person would?  No, most likely not.  But I'll tell you...peace of mind is priceless and I will do just about anything to help us find a little more peace. 

He hasn't tried his new drug yet.  He received a call back from the doctor's office about our concerns.  They said they would prescribe a lesser dose but maintained the higher dose is most likely more appropriate due to the length of time and the amount of pain killers Roger has been on.  So, Roger has decided he's going to give it a try but only during the day and when I'm around.  Just in case.   We'd like to believe medicine and science is uber precise, but it really isnt. 

We were both lost in thought quite a bit today.  When we finally were able to get lunch, we both sat quietly munching our food and chewing our thoughts.  The evening has been quiet.  Roger has been dozing.  I have been working.  My list of to-dos is a mile long so its probably just as well he has been sleeping. 

As usual, the clock ticks on and on.  Its a little past 11:30pm.  Roger's face is smushed into a pillow which we've tried to use as a "prop" to hold his head upward verses the full out slump.  From here I can hear the faint poof of him breathing against the pillow with a random snore mixed in here and there.  I've missed the "easy" window of getting Roger up to bed under the Ambien fog.  We'll still go upstairs to bed.  I just may have to tolerate/deal with Roger "waking" enough to engage in lengthy conversations about nothing or his wanting to fold laundry (ONLY when he's on Ambien...no other time!). 

Hope the weekend is a good one for you.  I'm trying to resist the overwhelming urge to buy tons of flowers and paint the yard with color.  May still have to squeeze in a LITTLE garden therapy.    hugs, a & snoozing r