And so it starts

Chemo is on board.  Roger is fading fast.  The house is getting more and more quiet as Roger sinks further into the corner of the couch. The cats have popped in and out of the room chasing each other.  The sound of them sliding across the floor and crashing into the wall is the only thing breaking up the evening. 

The day was a long one, but good...if you can say that when you know you are starting a fast decent to hell.  We met with Roger's oncologist, Dr Birhirray (which is the standard process) in the morning and then started the infusion after the appointment.  Dr. B came in with the CT test results....good news.... the cancer continues to be responsive to the chemo.  Tumors are shrinking.  Chemo is doing its job. Things continue to look better.  Dr B said we could even consider reducing or possible consider stopping the chemo for now.  The goal being to improve the quality of life which Roger hasn't have much of at all.  Since the cancer is systemic (spread from his esophagus through Roger's system to other organs), we have to understand there is the real possibility of repeating this rodeo.  Dr. B said because the cancer is in Roger's system, chemo may be a "forever" part of our, Roger's, life (that's a daunting thought!).  So, we talked about some of the pros and cons of stopping or reducing the treatment and Roger decided, at least for this round, that he wanted to stay the course with the same dose and regime as last treatment.  Talk about tenacity!  As we sat in the infusion area, I told Roger how surprised I was that he didn't at least reduce the dosage let alone stop the treatment.  He explained he wanted to get the most from the treatment and that we could discuss altering the treatment the next round.  He indicated he wants to complete the full 12 treatments even if the dosage is reduced.  Basically, he said if the choice is feeling better or living longer.....his words, "I want to live".   Dr. B. said we could cut the really noxious stuff (oxalaplatim) in half - so you get the benefit of the continued treatment with less of all the horrible feeling.  Apparently another challenge to cancer/chemo is the risk the cancer will become immune to the chemo.   As if going through chemo weren't hard enough...you have to worry that cancer will "figure out" the treatment and become resistant to it.  Cancer is a sneaky little bastard.

Mark your calendars...today was a good news day.  We'll continue to ride the roller coaster called life.  Please send Dramamine...I have a feeling its going to be a wild ride and I get motion sick. 

As I sit here typing I'm looking over at Roger on the other end of the sofa.  He is snoozing on and off and crumpling into a ball.  I think its time to scoot him up to bed. G'nite. xxooxx, a