A tough week

There have been endless tough weeks lately.  This past one was no exception.  The toll it took was more emotional than ever anticipated.  You constantly...well maybe not constantly...but a whole heck of a lot of the time hear about another person who has died from cancer.  A friend, a friend of a friend, a co-worker, a neighbor.  You get the picture. This week Ralph Steinman, 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Winner for Medicine (researcher for immune system and cancer) and Steve Jobs founder of Apple.  Ok, so we didn't know either man, didn't know their family, didn't even know any of their friends.  The closest we got to Steve Jobs was using his technology IPhone and IPod.  And yet, despite not knowing either person we were both moved to great moments of thought and deep emotion.  Roger's comment when Jobs' death was announced was "he had endless money and resources...and he couldn't beat cancer"...It all takes your breath away.  I countered with the fact that Jobs lived for many many years past the statistical initial prognosis.  And you can't give up trying, believing, fighting.  Having said that, it was nonetheless a very difficult week for both of us.

Roger continues to feel puny.  His intestines are now fully in picture.  Medicines don't seem to be able to prevent extreme diarrhea and intestinal issues.  So, our efforts to put weight on Roger are further hampered.  The guy just can't catch a break. Fortunately this is the extra "off" week for chemo so hopefully he will have a couple decent days this week. He will start his next treatment on the 19th.  This coming Friday Roger goes in for the outpatient endoscopic procedure to stretch his esophagus and scope his stomach.  More hospital time. 

We decided to come down to the boat for the weekend.  Both of us needed to get away.  The weather is beautiful.  Leaves are changing. Sun is out.  The intention was to take the boat out and "camp" on the water. Roger ended up working on a bunch of projects and I spent all of Saturday at the kitchen table working on a bunch of work projects.  We both closed it all down at 6:30 to watch the end of the sun set.  Simply gorgeous.  I think both of our blood pressure cut in half.  At one point, as we both were staring out at the river floating by, the sky a burnt golden color, Roger looked over and said "I'd love to do this everyday.  How much do you think we would change?  Would we change?  Would we miss the rat race?"  Left us both pondering. 

One evening this week, sensing I was stressed from work Roger took it upon himself to make dinner.  First time in a very long time. So it was a really welcome pleasant surprise.  I had set out ingredients for chili from the recent trip to the grocery (for those godforsaken frozen saturated-fat-soaked pork-fritter-things).  It all sounds good, right?  I walk in to see my darling hubby standing at the stove browning onions and ground beef.  I go change out of my work clothes and come back downstairs to add the spices.  As I am adding chili powder and stirring the mixture, I noticed little chunks of white something (potatoes) in the pan.  Hmmm.  There were carrots in there too.  Hmmm.  As I stirred the mixture, I quietly asked....what did you put in here?  He proudly responds "I put in ground beef, onions, a little bit of Italian sausage and that can of lentil stuff."  Hmmmm.  He added the can of lentil beef soup I had bought for lunch into the chili.  Not wanting to squash the very helpful, very sweet gesture.  I just keep stirring with a smirk on my face.  It then dawned on him that maybe the soup wasn't supposed to go into the pan.  Um, no.  No harm no foul.  We ended up getting extra protein in the process.  Gave us both a good laugh.  I'll probably stick to the cooking.

Anyway, sorry for the blah blah blah.  Lots of thoughts rattling around in our heads. Have a great weekend.  I'll try to post tomorrow but will most likely be later in the week.  much love, angie and roger