I can't seem to find a better word than "dark".... We've had a pretty "dark" week. Roger hasn't felt well until literally today. The first day in - well - in a long time. Coupled with his physical challenges, he has had a troubled week emotionally/mentally. This all translates into both of us having a very dark, difficult week. Yesterday was probably one of the worst emotionally in a very long time. So, whattdaya do? Tighten your belt, tighten the guide lines around your waist, tie yourself to something sturdy and hope like hell you weather the storm in one piece.
Cliched as it sounds, the sun came out today. Roger felt measurably better. His kind, funny, engaged personality came back. We drove down to our boat to drop off some supplies, and do some initial winterizing of the boat, and winterize Dad's boat. Mom and Dad were down at their river house which is about 15 minutes from the boat. It was a really really great day. Simple, pleasant, sunny, full of good conversation. No sniping, no biting. Good. Simply good. Roger had a lot more energy then we have seen in a long time. He still had intestinal issues but the rest of his body was "ok". Still pain, but manageable. His brain and emotional well being were much better which was a big relief to both of us.
With the good day came conversation about all the projects around the house which Roger wants to knock out. He also was talking about some of the different ideas he had for things to do during the day beyond "honey-do" lists. Its a huge relief to me to hear him talk about new projects/ventures he wants to do. So much more forward thinking than Roger has in a while. Forward thinking is a good thing. Gotta stay positive. Gotta believe. Gotta believe. The other relief for me, is that I worry about Roger just sitting on the sofa. I think we all need purpose - a focal point - when you navigate a boat on the river during a storm or in the dark, you find your focal point - your wayward point (on the river they are blinking beacons). Find that point. Focus on it.
Halloween is fast upon us. We usually try to carve up a couple pumpkins. Great artistic expression for both of us. I come up with the design and Roger executes it. We've had some good ones in the past. Well, here we are on the eve of Halloween...and NO PUMPKINS. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT????? Ok, yah, it was a dark week. But come on! Usually one of us will pull up from the tail spin and at least BUY a pumpkin. After my brother sent me a text with a picture of the pumpkins he and the kids did.....well, that was just the motivation we both needed. Of course, it came around 8 tonight! So, we have committed to pumpkin carving tomorrow. Yep, a little late for the whole Halloween thing but that's ok. Roger said he'd go out and hunt for pumpkins. We'll carve tomorrow late afternoon/evening. We don't really have to worry about trick or treaters. For some reason, our street doesn't tend to get many trick or treaters. The streets around us get besieged with all the little tricksters. But not us. Its a big bummer. I love seeing all the little guys dressed up - and love seeing the creativity. The other bummer is that we have a big ol' bowl of candy "just in case"....and we all know what the true outcome will be. Roger's skinny butt might get a little padding. My not-so-skinny butt will get a lot more padding.
If we accomplish our pumpkin goal, I'll try to take some pictures and post them.
Keep all the good thoughts flowing to Roger. They make a difference.
Happy Halloween! Dress up and get your Halloween vibe on!!! Love, a & r
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